I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
