Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
