You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
