Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
a search helicopter?!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
