I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am one with the molecules
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
