Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
