Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
