When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
