He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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