after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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