finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
