Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
