Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
