Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
