they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
