My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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