ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
