my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
