My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
