I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
