Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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