My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
