I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
