This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
