why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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