I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
