my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
