I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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