i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
