My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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