you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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