It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She even gives head with a lisp.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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