I accidentally had phone sex last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
