only you would photoshop your dick
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This baby is an asshole
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
