Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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