The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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