Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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