Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
