please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
