Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
