Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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