is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
