I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
