okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
