If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
