yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
