I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
