I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
