i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
