First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
