Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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