Buhtt sex?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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