I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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