the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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