Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the liver wants what the liver wants
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
